Best Life Therapy Blogs - Grief, Anxiety, Stress & More
- posted: Dec. 04, 2025
Relationships are the heartbeat of family life. Whether it’s with a spouse, partner, or even co‑parent, we all want connection that feels safe, supportive, and lasting. Your marriage truly is the foundation of the family. When that foundation is not strong, it can impact the entire family. There are many families that know the pain of being in a relationship with someone who is narcissistic—where love feels one‑sided, and your needs are ignored. They have walked on eggshells for years trying to avoid the next conflict, hoping that their partner won’t humilate them on purpose when they are in public. Healing from that kind of hurt takes courage, but it’s possible. Drawing from the wisdom of Dr. John Gottman, Esther Perel, and Brené Brown, here are five ways to build stronger, healthier relationships.
1. Turn Toward Each Other (Gottman)
John and Julie Gottman are therapists, authors and relationship experts. Their work teaches us that small moments matter most. When your partner shares a story, sighs after a long day, or asks for help, those are “bids for connection.” Turning toward them—listening, offering a smile, or simply saying “I’m here”—creates trust. This might look like pausing during dinner prep to hear about your spouse’s day at work. Taking time to truly care, wanting to spend time with them and putting our phones down when our partner is wanting to engage with us tells them that they matter. These everyday moments help strengthen relationships.
2. Keep Desire Alive (Perel)
Esther Perel reminds us that love thrives on both closeness and space. Too much routine can make relationships feel flat. You might spend a lot of time together after work doing all the day to day activities but are you getting out and creating new memories? Are you making it a point to experience joy together? Try adding novelty—date nights at a new restaurant, head downtown to attend Christmas on Main on December 5th, 2025 in Davison or attend the Flushing Candlewalk on December 4h 2025. Keeping Desire alive could even be something as simple as a handwritten note. Desire isn’t just physical; it’s about curiosity and play. When you invite freshness into your relationship, you remind each other that you’re more than just co‑managers of bills and chores. There is a saying “couples that play together, stay together” and it is so true. Research has shown spending intentional time engaging in fun activities can strengthen emotional connections. Doing all of the things you have to do together is nice but it doesn’t have the same impact. Laughing and enjoying time together can be a great stress reliever. During the holiday season, that stress free time together can be especially important.
3. Practice Vulnerability (Brown)
Brené Brown says vulnerability is the birthplace of love. That means sharing your fears, hopes, and even mistakes without hiding behind perfection. In a healthy relationship, vulnerability is met with empathy, not judgment. This could be admitting when you’re overwhelmed by parenting or asking for help with finances. Vulnerability builds intimacy because it says, “I trust you with the real me.” Being able to have those deeper conversations with our partner adds to that sense of safety and security that is vital in relationships. Knowing that you can open up without being told things like “that is so stupid” or being berated in public because you did something your partner didn’t like can make it hard to be vulnerable when you are in a healthy relationship.
4. Set Boundaries to Heal from Narcissistic Relationships
If you’ve survived a narcissistic relationship, you know how draining it can be. After awhile people tend to lose their smile, they learn to stay quiet because they have no energy for conflict. Sometimes they avoid doing simple things like having coffee with a friend because of the fear that their partner might get upset about it. Narcissists often dismiss feelings, twist reality, and make you doubt yourself. Healing starts with boundaries—clear lines that protect your energy. They tend to army build when you do set boundaries, trying to plot everyone against you. Sometimes people even try to turn tier own children against their partner. One of the best ways to set boundaries is to not engage with the narcissist. This might mean limiting contact, refusing to engage in arguments, or seeking support from trusted friends and therapists. Plan for them to not like this. Using the concepts Mel Robin’s talks about in her book “The Let Them Theory” can help. It is important to let them do whatever it is they are going to do but then you get to decide how much you are going to let that impact you. You decide if you are going to engage with them. Boundaries aren’t walls; they’re doors that let healthy love in and keep toxic behavior out. Teaching kids about boundaries also helps them grow into adults who respect themselves and others.
5. Build a Culture of Appreciation (Gottman + Brown)
Healthy families thrive on gratitude. Gottman’s research shows that couples who regularly express appreciation are more likely to stay together. Brené Brown adds that gratitude shifts us from scarcity (“never enough”) to abundance (“we have what matters”). Try naming three things you appreciate about your partner each day. This could be thanking your spouse for shoveling snow, appreciating your partner for helping with groceries, or simply saying, “I love how you make me laugh.” Model this for your children. When they see that love and appreciation being expressed in the home, they can learn what a healthy relationship should look like.
Final Thoughts
Improving relationships isn’t about grand gestures—it’s about daily choices. Turning toward each other, keeping desire alive, practicing vulnerability, setting boundaries, and building appreciation are tools that help families thrive. And if you’ve endured the pain of a narcissistic relationship, remember: healing is possible. You deserve connection that is mutual, respectful, and kind. Not every partner is going to treat you the way your past partner did. Being open and vulnerable again after having been in an abusive relatonship is hard but the right partner will help show you what a healthy relatonship looks like. Therapy can help stop those old patterns from repeating themselves.
Strong relationships don’t just happen—they’re built, moment by moment. Sometimes having a supportive therapist to process things with can help. Individuals and couples can learn more about what a healthy relationship should look like. Learning to recognize unhealthy patterns of behavior and exploring ways to create the kind of relationship you want to have is possible. At Best Life Therapy, we have several therapists available who work with couples. Schedule your initial appointment on our website, https://bestlifetherapy.net or call our office, 810-771-3457.
- posted: Dec. 04, 2025
Relationships are the heartbeat of family life. Whether it’s with a spouse, partner, or even co‑parent, we all want connection that feels safe, supportive, and lasting. Your marriage truly is the foundation of the family. When that foundation is not strong, it can impact the entire family. There are many families that know the pain of being in a relationship with someone who is narcissistic—where love feels one‑sided, and your needs are ignored. They have walked on eggshells for years trying to avoid the next conflict, hoping that their partner won’t humilate them on purpose when they are in public. Healing from that kind of hurt takes courage, but it’s possible. Drawing from the wisdom of Dr. John Gottman, Esther Perel, and Brené Brown, here are five ways to build stronger, healthier relationships.
1. Turn Toward Each Other (Gottman)
John and Julie Gottman are therapists, authors and relationship experts. Their work teaches us that small moments matter most. When your partner shares a story, sighs after a long day, or asks for help, those are “bids for connection.” Turning toward them—listening, offering a smile, or simply saying “I’m here”—creates trust. This might look like pausing during dinner prep to hear about your spouse’s day at work. Taking time to truly care, wanting to spend time with them and putting our phones down when our partner is wanting to engage with us tells them that they matter. These everyday moments help strengthen relationships.
2. Keep Desire Alive (Perel)
Esther Perel reminds us that love thrives on both closeness and space. Too much routine can make relationships feel flat. You might spend a lot of time together after work doing all the day to day activities but are you getting out and creating new memories? Are you making it a point to experience joy together? Try adding novelty—date nights at a new restaurant, head downtown to attend Christmas on Main on December 5th, 2025 in Davison or attend the Flushing Candlewalk on December 4h 2025. Keeping Desire alive could even be something as simple as a handwritten note. Desire isn’t just physical; it’s about curiosity and play. When you invite freshness into your relationship, you remind each other that you’re more than just co‑managers of bills and chores. There is a saying “couples that play together, stay together” and it is so true. Research has shown spending intentional time engaging in fun activities can strengthen emotional connections. Doing all of the things you have to do together is nice but it doesn’t have the same impact. Laughing and enjoying time together can be a great stress reliever. During the holiday season, that stress free time together can be especially important.
3. Practice Vulnerability (Brown)
Brené Brown says vulnerability is the birthplace of love. That means sharing your fears, hopes, and even mistakes without hiding behind perfection. In a healthy relationship, vulnerability is met with empathy, not judgment. This could be admitting when you’re overwhelmed by parenting or asking for help with finances. Vulnerability builds intimacy because it says, “I trust you with the real me.” Being able to have those deeper conversations with our partner adds to that sense of safety and security that is vital in relationships. Knowing that you can open up without being told things like “that is so stupid” or being berated in public because you did something your partner didn’t like can make it hard to be vulnerable when you are in a healthy relationship.
4. Set Boundaries to Heal from Narcissistic Relationships
If you’ve survived a narcissistic relationship, you know how draining it can be. After awhile people tend to lose their smile, they learn to stay quiet because they have no energy for conflict. Sometimes they avoid doing simple things like having coffee with a friend because of the fear that their partner might get upset about it. Narcissists often dismiss feelings, twist reality, and make you doubt yourself. Healing starts with boundaries—clear lines that protect your energy. They tend to army build when you do set boundaries, trying to plot everyone against you. Sometimes people even try to turn tier own children against their partner. One of the best ways to set boundaries is to not engage with the narcissist. This might mean limiting contact, refusing to engage in arguments, or seeking support from trusted friends and therapists. Plan for them to not like this. Using the concepts Mel Robin’s talks about in her book “The Let Them Theory” can help. It is important to let them do whatever it is they are going to do but then you get to decide how much you are going to let that impact you. You decide if you are going to engage with them. Boundaries aren’t walls; they’re doors that let healthy love in and keep toxic behavior out. Teaching kids about boundaries also helps them grow into adults who respect themselves and others.
5. Build a Culture of Appreciation (Gottman + Brown)
Healthy families thrive on gratitude. Gottman’s research shows that couples who regularly express appreciation are more likely to stay together. Brené Brown adds that gratitude shifts us from scarcity (“never enough”) to abundance (“we have what matters”). Try naming three things you appreciate about your partner each day. This could be thanking your spouse for shoveling snow, appreciating your partner for helping with groceries, or simply saying, “I love how you make me laugh.” Model this for your children. When they see that love and appreciation being expressed in the home, they can learn what a healthy relationship should look like.
Final Thoughts
Improving relationships isn’t about grand gestures—it’s about daily choices. Turning toward each other, keeping desire alive, practicing vulnerability, setting boundaries, and building appreciation are tools that help families thrive. And if you’ve endured the pain of a narcissistic relationship, remember: healing is possible. You deserve connection that is mutual, respectful, and kind. Not every partner is going to treat you the way your past partner did. Being open and vulnerable again after having been in an abusive relatonship is hard but the right partner will help show you what a healthy relatonship looks like. Therapy can help stop those old patterns from repeating themselves.
Strong relationships don’t just happen—they’re built, moment by moment. Sometimes having a supportive therapist to process things with can help. Individuals and couples can learn more about what a healthy relationship should look like. Learning to recognize unhealthy patterns of behavior and exploring ways to create the kind of relationship you want to have is possible. At Best Life Therapy, we have several therapists available who work with couples. Schedule your initial appointment on our website, https://bestlifetherapy.net or call our office, 810-771-3457.
We Specialize in Anxiety, Depression, Grief and Trauma
At Best Life Therapy, we provide compassionate counseling to support your mental health journey. Our experienced therapists are here to help you navigate life's challenges and promote personal growth.
We hope you enjoy reading our blogs!
Sign up below to subscribe To our blogs. These are free And You Will Have Instant Access to Them.
You will have instant access as soon as they are published! We promise not to overload your inbox.
- Photo taken at Flushing County Park, Michigan