Best Life Therapy Blogs - Grief, Anxiety, Stress & More
- posted: Jan. 22, 2025
Do you ruminate over mistakes that you've made? Are you an overthinker? Is it difficult for you to hand tasks over to others for fear they'll mess things up?
If any of these things sound familiar to you, it is possible that you could be a perfectionist. Many high achievers tend to lean toward being a perfectionist. Sometimes that can help people to be successful. Other times it can steal your joy, push others away from you and it can be a huge weakness. When we are constantly striving to do that next thing, to reach that next level, we forget to slow down enough to enjoy what we have, to enjoy the moment. While it is true that we can come up with some great ideas when we think things through, overthinking can impact our anxiety levels. Perfectionism becomes a problem when we can't let the thoughts go, when they replay over and over in our head and impact our ability to relax and enjoy life. It's a problem when we put our expectations on others demanding that they do things our way rather than appreciating what they actually have done. Striving for perfectionism can be exhausting and the obsession with having to be our best at all times can impact our self-worth and our relationships.
Slow Down - Enjoy the Journey
It is true that when we are always working on reaching that next goal, we often miss out on the feelings of joy and satisfaction experienced when we actually achieve our goals. This constant desire to be productive can make it more difficult to be creative and it can narrow or restrict our point of view causing us to be rigid with our thinking. Being open-minded allows us to embrace other's ideas, new ways of thinking fostering a growth mindset. Doing this can help us move past obstacles as we begin to see challenges as opportunities for us to be successful. Moving past the rules we have in our mind about how things "should" go and obsessing over what we "should" be doing can help us step out of our comfort zone and try new things. It can also help us relax and stay in the present moment so we truly can enjoy the journey. When we are so focused on reaching that next goal, often times we miss out on joy.
Celebrating our Successes
Taking time to notice what we have accomplished rather than focusing on all the things we did not do well can improve our self-worth. Give yourself credit for the things you are doing well. You do not have to be perfect! There is a saying "Do not should on yourself since there are enough people in this world that will should on you." This saying is from Shad Helmstetter, one of my favorite authors. He wrote the book "What to Say When You Speak to Yourself." It is important to remember that our brains believe what we tell ourselves the most. Tell yourself good things!
Be Careful of Unhelpful Comparisons
They can squash our self-esteem. When we focus on our perceived weakness and compare it to someone else's strengths, we are not using fair comparisons and are setting ourselves up for failure. It truly is important to be kind to yourself. This means being fair when you do compare. Don't lose sight of our strengths. If everyone was the same, this world would not be very interesting. Have you ever drove through a neighborhood and every home is exactly the same? It would be so boring if we all looked the same and accomplished the same things. Another great saying is that it is not our business what others think about us.
Mindfulness Matters
Slowing down and staying in the present moment works wonderfully with perfectionism. When we worry about being perfect, we are often focused on future goals, evaluating how we have done things and thinking about what we can do better. Look around and notice the things that you have done well. Give yourself credit for the small things you have accomplished. Remind yourself that good enough is sometimes okay and embrace the "Let Them Theory" movement if you worry about others judging you. This theory has been made popular by motivational speaker Mel Robins and encourages us to let go of controlling others' actions. Learning to stay in the moment and letting go of all of that noise in our heads can be a powerful way of finding inner peace and joy.
Finding Peace
Notice when you are stuck in thinking like a perfectionist. Awareness is the first step. Breathe and take a moment to reflect on your self-talk. Remember that nobody is perfect and you are not expected to be perfect. Take comfort in knowing that you are perfectly human! This means that we can grow and change, make mistakes, learn from them and always improve but we are amazing just because we are who we are. As the saying goes "Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it." by Salvador Dali. One of my favorite sayings is that it is virtually impossible to be perfect in all areas of our life at the same time. Focus on what you are doing well, notice and appreciate that and take time to enjoy what you have accomplished. Life is short...enjoy the journey. If you want to set up an appointment to work more in depth on this issue, contact Best Life Therapy.
- posted: Jan. 22, 2025
Do you ruminate over mistakes that you've made? Are you an overthinker? Is it difficult for you to hand tasks over to others for fear they'll mess things up?
If any of these things sound familiar to you, it is possible that you could be a perfectionist. Many high achievers tend to lean toward being a perfectionist. Sometimes that can help people to be successful. Other times it can steal your joy, push others away from you and it can be a huge weakness. When we are constantly striving to do that next thing, to reach that next level, we forget to slow down enough to enjoy what we have, to enjoy the moment. While it is true that we can come up with some great ideas when we think things through, overthinking can impact our anxiety levels. Perfectionism becomes a problem when we can't let the thoughts go, when they replay over and over in our head and impact our ability to relax and enjoy life. It's a problem when we put our expectations on others demanding that they do things our way rather than appreciating what they actually have done. Striving for perfectionism can be exhausting and the obsession with having to be our best at all times can impact our self-worth and our relationships.
Slow Down - Enjoy the Journey
It is true that when we are always working on reaching that next goal, we often miss out on the feelings of joy and satisfaction experienced when we actually achieve our goals. This constant desire to be productive can make it more difficult to be creative and it can narrow or restrict our point of view causing us to be rigid with our thinking. Being open-minded allows us to embrace other's ideas, new ways of thinking fostering a growth mindset. Doing this can help us move past obstacles as we begin to see challenges as opportunities for us to be successful. Moving past the rules we have in our mind about how things "should" go and obsessing over what we "should" be doing can help us step out of our comfort zone and try new things. It can also help us relax and stay in the present moment so we truly can enjoy the journey. When we are so focused on reaching that next goal, often times we miss out on joy.
Celebrating our Successes
Taking time to notice what we have accomplished rather than focusing on all the things we did not do well can improve our self-worth. Give yourself credit for the things you are doing well. You do not have to be perfect! There is a saying "Do not should on yourself since there are enough people in this world that will should on you." This saying is from Shad Helmstetter, one of my favorite authors. He wrote the book "What to Say When You Speak to Yourself." It is important to remember that our brains believe what we tell ourselves the most. Tell yourself good things!
Be Careful of Unhelpful Comparisons
They can squash our self-esteem. When we focus on our perceived weakness and compare it to someone else's strengths, we are not using fair comparisons and are setting ourselves up for failure. It truly is important to be kind to yourself. This means being fair when you do compare. Don't lose sight of our strengths. If everyone was the same, this world would not be very interesting. Have you ever drove through a neighborhood and every home is exactly the same? It would be so boring if we all looked the same and accomplished the same things. Another great saying is that it is not our business what others think about us.
Mindfulness Matters
Slowing down and staying in the present moment works wonderfully with perfectionism. When we worry about being perfect, we are often focused on future goals, evaluating how we have done things and thinking about what we can do better. Look around and notice the things that you have done well. Give yourself credit for the small things you have accomplished. Remind yourself that good enough is sometimes okay and embrace the "Let Them Theory" movement if you worry about others judging you. This theory has been made popular by motivational speaker Mel Robins and encourages us to let go of controlling others' actions. Learning to stay in the moment and letting go of all of that noise in our heads can be a powerful way of finding inner peace and joy.
Finding Peace
Notice when you are stuck in thinking like a perfectionist. Awareness is the first step. Breathe and take a moment to reflect on your self-talk. Remember that nobody is perfect and you are not expected to be perfect. Take comfort in knowing that you are perfectly human! This means that we can grow and change, make mistakes, learn from them and always improve but we are amazing just because we are who we are. As the saying goes "Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it." by Salvador Dali. One of my favorite sayings is that it is virtually impossible to be perfect in all areas of our life at the same time. Focus on what you are doing well, notice and appreciate that and take time to enjoy what you have accomplished. Life is short...enjoy the journey. If you want to set up an appointment to work more in depth on this issue, contact Best Life Therapy.
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- Photo taken at Flushing County Park, Michigan