Best Life Therapy Blogs - Grief, Anxiety, Stress & More
- posted: Feb. 04, 2025
Do you ever find yourself thinking about something and then feel like you must have it? Is it followed by you wondering "why did I do that? I said I was going to stop doing/buying that and I didn't." Failing to stop and think about what we are doing is referred to as acting on an impulse. An impulse is a strong urge or feeling to do something without giving it much thought. Sometimes we struggle to control an impulse with something minor like when our car pulls into Starbucks, and we had no intention of going there. Our society certainly is set up to tempt us with many things. We see ads online like the one I saw this morning "Fall in love with Starbucks Valentines Day beverages." They do look so tempting! If you are a coffee lover, this might be a decision you actually want to make! At some point before February 14th, I'll be sure to give one a try. I know many of you in or near Davison, Michigan can relate. We love our local Starbucks!
As a society, we have come to want instant pleasure. Delaying gratification is becoming less popular in a world filled with instant access and convenience. It's almost "out of style" to wait for larger rewards especially when we have the means or the credit to get what we want when we want it. The concept of waiting for what we want in life is a valuable one. Embracing the idea of delaying gratification is important for us to learn so we can achieve larger goals. Most things worth doing in life, require time, effort, hard-work and patience. Learning to wait for what we want while setting and achieving small goals really is an important step toward achieving success.
Sometimes just saying that we want something can activate our brain's reward system, essentially increasing the likelihood that we will continue to focus on it. The more we say it, the more we think it. Saying we want something can trigger a release of dopamine in our brains. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure and desire. When that reward center of our brain is activated, it can cause us to actively seek out those things we think about. Our brains can be triggered by many things. These include sensory cues, positive association which is when we associate something with positive experiences or memories and mental imagery.
Imagine if we spent time each day imagining our goals focusing on who we want to be rather than dwelling on mistakes we've made. Our self-esteem could improve, and we'd feel better because we made choices that lined up with want we want. We'd be more likely to live a life that will help us reach our hopes and our dreams. This is why vision boards can help with goal setting. Having visual cues to remind ourselves of what we want and why we want it can help us stay focused on our goals.
Challenges with impulse control can sometimes be related to mental health conditions such as attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), major depressive disorder, bipolar disorder and anxiety. Genetics, peer pressure and neurological imbalances also can impact our ability to control impulses. Failure to learn how to control our impulses when we are young can lead to devasting issues. Children and adolescents who struggle with impulses and don't learn how to manage them have an increased likelihood of engaging in substance abuse as adults. Sometimes acting on an impulse can involve risky behavior and results in things like road rage, acts of violence and financial devastation due to overspending or gambling addiction. Learning how to control impulses can be a process that takes time but with support, it can be done.
Reading about impulse control and learning more about it are helpful first steps but sometimes we need more support with this. Talk therapy can assist people in learning strategies to control impulses. These are individualized during your sessions and can be situation specific so guidance with this goal can help. Here is a list of some basic impulse control tips: learn to relax, wait to respond, use distraction, keep busy, be honest with yourself and others, use mindfulness and meditation, set small goals, develop new habits/replacement behaviors, learn to manage your emotions, seek support from others and practice visualizing what you do want. Learning to control our impulses can improve our self-confidence. It can help us get rid of some of the guilt, shame and self-doubt so we can finally begin to live our best life.
If you'd like some assistance in learning to control your impulses, Best Life is here for you! New clients can schedule their first appointment using our online appointment request button located on the first page of our website. If you have questions and would like a brief phone consult before your appointment, feel free to email Vicky Alvarez at Best Life Therapy at [email protected]. I'd be happy to schedule a brief pre-appointment phone call to answer any questions you may have about therapy. We wish you the best in your journey toward living your best life!
- posted: Feb. 04, 2025
Do you ever find yourself thinking about something and then feel like you must have it? Is it followed by you wondering "why did I do that? I said I was going to stop doing/buying that and I didn't." Failing to stop and think about what we are doing is referred to as acting on an impulse. An impulse is a strong urge or feeling to do something without giving it much thought. Sometimes we struggle to control an impulse with something minor like when our car pulls into Starbucks, and we had no intention of going there. Our society certainly is set up to tempt us with many things. We see ads online like the one I saw this morning "Fall in love with Starbucks Valentines Day beverages." They do look so tempting! If you are a coffee lover, this might be a decision you actually want to make! At some point before February 14th, I'll be sure to give one a try. I know many of you in or near Davison, Michigan can relate. We love our local Starbucks!
As a society, we have come to want instant pleasure. Delaying gratification is becoming less popular in a world filled with instant access and convenience. It's almost "out of style" to wait for larger rewards especially when we have the means or the credit to get what we want when we want it. The concept of waiting for what we want in life is a valuable one. Embracing the idea of delaying gratification is important for us to learn so we can achieve larger goals. Most things worth doing in life, require time, effort, hard-work and patience. Learning to wait for what we want while setting and achieving small goals really is an important step toward achieving success.
Sometimes just saying that we want something can activate our brain's reward system, essentially increasing the likelihood that we will continue to focus on it. The more we say it, the more we think it. Saying we want something can trigger a release of dopamine in our brains. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure and desire. When that reward center of our brain is activated, it can cause us to actively seek out those things we think about. Our brains can be triggered by many things. These include sensory cues, positive association which is when we associate something with positive experiences or memories and mental imagery.
Imagine if we spent time each day imagining our goals focusing on who we want to be rather than dwelling on mistakes we've made. Our self-esteem could improve, and we'd feel better because we made choices that lined up with want we want. We'd be more likely to live a life that will help us reach our hopes and our dreams. This is why vision boards can help with goal setting. Having visual cues to remind ourselves of what we want and why we want it can help us stay focused on our goals.
Challenges with impulse control can sometimes be related to mental health conditions such as attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), major depressive disorder, bipolar disorder and anxiety. Genetics, peer pressure and neurological imbalances also can impact our ability to control impulses. Failure to learn how to control our impulses when we are young can lead to devasting issues. Children and adolescents who struggle with impulses and don't learn how to manage them have an increased likelihood of engaging in substance abuse as adults. Sometimes acting on an impulse can involve risky behavior and results in things like road rage, acts of violence and financial devastation due to overspending or gambling addiction. Learning how to control impulses can be a process that takes time but with support, it can be done.
Reading about impulse control and learning more about it are helpful first steps but sometimes we need more support with this. Talk therapy can assist people in learning strategies to control impulses. These are individualized during your sessions and can be situation specific so guidance with this goal can help. Here is a list of some basic impulse control tips: learn to relax, wait to respond, use distraction, keep busy, be honest with yourself and others, use mindfulness and meditation, set small goals, develop new habits/replacement behaviors, learn to manage your emotions, seek support from others and practice visualizing what you do want. Learning to control our impulses can improve our self-confidence. It can help us get rid of some of the guilt, shame and self-doubt so we can finally begin to live our best life.
If you'd like some assistance in learning to control your impulses, Best Life is here for you! New clients can schedule their first appointment using our online appointment request button located on the first page of our website. If you have questions and would like a brief phone consult before your appointment, feel free to email Vicky Alvarez at Best Life Therapy at [email protected]. I'd be happy to schedule a brief pre-appointment phone call to answer any questions you may have about therapy. We wish you the best in your journey toward living your best life!
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- Photo taken at Flushing County Park, Michigan