Best Life Therapy Blogs - Grief, Anxiety, Stress & More
- posted: Apr. 25, 2025
Written by Vicky Alvarez, LMSW, Clinical Therapist and CEO of Best Life Therapy
Have you ever felt like a fake or found yourself feeling worried that you're just not good enough? Do you compare yourself to others and strive for perfection so nobody will view you as being incompetent? Do you spend a lot of time doubting yourself and your abilities and feel like you just don’t measure up? If you've felt these things, take comfort in knowing you're not alone. Research shows that up to 82% of individuals feel like this at some point. When we're frequently filled with self-doubt and find ourselves questioning our own competence, it can be exhausting. This excessive worry and persistent self-doubt are much more common than one might imagine. The fear that others will not take you seriously or that people will think you are a fraud or not qualified enough can feel crippling at times. It can not only hinder career progression, but it can cause people to remain stuck, avoid social interactions and it can adversely impact our self-esteem. When we feel like an imposter, we are more likely to procrastinate, isolate and feel paralyzed. We tend to avoid taking any risks. The fear of failing seems like more than we can take so we avoid doing things we really would like to do. We can become hyper-focused on other people’s thoughts and opinions about us. This avoidance just adds to our lack of confidence and can make us feel worse.
If you find yourself ruminating about all the bad things you think you are, pause for a moment and recognize it for what it is. Fiction. It is your inner critic on repeat combined with all the mean voices of your past. We all have had them. Most people cannot get through middle school without being called names or being belittled at some point. Maybe you've had feedback in school that made you feel like you were not as smart as the other students. Sometimes those negative messages about not being good enough come from home. This self-doubt can happen when parents focus only on successes and give little to no attention to a person's effort. We are left feeling like nothing is ever good enough. So, what do we do about imposter syndrome? With time, practice and consistency, can implement strategies that help to change our mindset. There are several things we can do to combat Imposter Syndrome.
Focus on your daily wins. Each day write down 3 things you did well. It does not always have to involve being productive. Why write them down? Research shows that the acting of writing down wins is twice as powerful as simply thinking about the wins. Many people with Imposter Syndrome are excellent at being over-achievers and tend to be highly productive often taking on too many things. Maybe the win you take time to notice is the fact that you actually took time to rest. Positive affirmations also can help. Each day, say the things you like about yourself. Writing one positive thing about yourself on a post it note and placing it on your mirror can remind you of your good qualities. Stay in the moment instead of ruminating about the past. Be mindful of your self-talk. Our inner critic can get very loud when we are filled with self-doubt. In Dr. Brene' Brown's book "The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to be and Embrace Who You Are," she explains the importance of authenticity and self-acceptance. When we deal with Imposter Syndrome, we hold on tight to who and what we think society believes we should be. What would happen if we decided to be vulnerable, to be our true selves? Acceptance can help us get rid of the “shoulds” that keep us frozen and filled with regrets. Instead of focusing on what we "should" have done differently, we need to focus more on what we did do well. If we can't think of anything, focus on what you WILL do. Make a plan and take action.
Another effective strategy to reduce this type of worry is to stay in the present moment. When we do this, we are not concerned with all those negative thoughts and unhelpful comparisons. Instead, we are focused on what we are doing at that moment. Imagine how well we could focus on goals if we could just set our worries to the side for a while. Many people spend so much time thinking about what they didn’t do well. This can cause them to feel paralyzed. They freeze or put things off instead of taking action to reach their goals.
Paying more attention to your effort and less attention to the outcome can help us feel better about the accomplishments we have achieved. When we truly give ourselves credit for the things we have done well and focus more on our future self, that person who we want to be, it can propel us to move forward with action and behaviors needed to reach our goals. When our minds are not cluttered with self-doubt, we have more time and energy to implement things that will help us achieve our goals. Letting go of perfectionism and people-pleasing tendencies can free us from some of this excessive worry and self-doubt.
Dr. Benjamin Hardy is a psychologist who wrote the book "Be Your Future Self Now". In this book, the author discusses the fact that psychologists used to believe your life/career must be a direct result of your past. Modern day research now shows that although a person’s past can influence present behavior, it does not completely dictate a person’s actions and behaviors as much as we once believed. When we embrace the idea of our future self, we can begin to feel like we have more control over the quality of our choices. When we truly think about what we want to be different, our actions and behavior begin to align with the goals we want to achieve. Do that enough and remain consistent with those actions and behaviors and we eventually can become the person we want to be. These concepts can be applied to goals related to our own personal health, our career and our relationships. When we act and do things to help our future self-live with more intention, it can bring more fulfillment in our lives. Instead of focusing on what we are NOT, we begin to become who we WANT to BE.
It takes a lot of courage to step outside of our comfort zone. Our mindset about failure can make a huge difference in how we approach challenges. When we allow the fear of failure to get in the way of goals, we’re allowing our anxiety to win. That fear can cause us to freeze rather than take action toward achieving our goals. Avoiding challenges because we’re afraid of failing can cause us to feel regret and ultimately create more self-doubt.
Have you wondered what causes Imposter Syndrome? Subscribe to our blogs to read more about the causes. If you want to overcome Imposter Syndrome, learn to reduce perfectionism, decrease people pleasing behaviors and worry less, contact Best Life Therapy. These are all things clients can work on in therapy. Best Life Therapy has immediate openings for new clients. Check out our website to learn more. New clients can request their initial appointment on our website by clicking on the request an appointment button on the home page. Click the following link to schedule your initial appointment: https://bestlifetherapy.net. Want to learn more strategies to improve your mindset? Here is another quick read, our blog about fixed and growth mindset Growth Mindset . If you have questions, feel free to call us Monday - Friday from 9:00am to 5:00pm or ask questions using the contact form on our website. Remember, there is treatment for imposter syndrome, and we are here for you if you need help.
- posted: Apr. 25, 2025
Written by Vicky Alvarez, LMSW, Clinical Therapist and CEO of Best Life Therapy
Have you ever felt like a fake or found yourself feeling worried that you're just not good enough? Do you compare yourself to others and strive for perfection so nobody will view you as being incompetent? Do you spend a lot of time doubting yourself and your abilities and feel like you just don’t measure up? If you've felt these things, take comfort in knowing you're not alone. Research shows that up to 82% of individuals feel like this at some point. When we're frequently filled with self-doubt and find ourselves questioning our own competence, it can be exhausting. This excessive worry and persistent self-doubt are much more common than one might imagine. The fear that others will not take you seriously or that people will think you are a fraud or not qualified enough can feel crippling at times. It can not only hinder career progression, but it can cause people to remain stuck, avoid social interactions and it can adversely impact our self-esteem. When we feel like an imposter, we are more likely to procrastinate, isolate and feel paralyzed. We tend to avoid taking any risks. The fear of failing seems like more than we can take so we avoid doing things we really would like to do. We can become hyper-focused on other people’s thoughts and opinions about us. This avoidance just adds to our lack of confidence and can make us feel worse.
If you find yourself ruminating about all the bad things you think you are, pause for a moment and recognize it for what it is. Fiction. It is your inner critic on repeat combined with all the mean voices of your past. We all have had them. Most people cannot get through middle school without being called names or being belittled at some point. Maybe you've had feedback in school that made you feel like you were not as smart as the other students. Sometimes those negative messages about not being good enough come from home. This self-doubt can happen when parents focus only on successes and give little to no attention to a person's effort. We are left feeling like nothing is ever good enough. So, what do we do about imposter syndrome? With time, practice and consistency, can implement strategies that help to change our mindset. There are several things we can do to combat Imposter Syndrome.
Focus on your daily wins. Each day write down 3 things you did well. It does not always have to involve being productive. Why write them down? Research shows that the acting of writing down wins is twice as powerful as simply thinking about the wins. Many people with Imposter Syndrome are excellent at being over-achievers and tend to be highly productive often taking on too many things. Maybe the win you take time to notice is the fact that you actually took time to rest. Positive affirmations also can help. Each day, say the things you like about yourself. Writing one positive thing about yourself on a post it note and placing it on your mirror can remind you of your good qualities. Stay in the moment instead of ruminating about the past. Be mindful of your self-talk. Our inner critic can get very loud when we are filled with self-doubt. In Dr. Brene' Brown's book "The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to be and Embrace Who You Are," she explains the importance of authenticity and self-acceptance. When we deal with Imposter Syndrome, we hold on tight to who and what we think society believes we should be. What would happen if we decided to be vulnerable, to be our true selves? Acceptance can help us get rid of the “shoulds” that keep us frozen and filled with regrets. Instead of focusing on what we "should" have done differently, we need to focus more on what we did do well. If we can't think of anything, focus on what you WILL do. Make a plan and take action.
Another effective strategy to reduce this type of worry is to stay in the present moment. When we do this, we are not concerned with all those negative thoughts and unhelpful comparisons. Instead, we are focused on what we are doing at that moment. Imagine how well we could focus on goals if we could just set our worries to the side for a while. Many people spend so much time thinking about what they didn’t do well. This can cause them to feel paralyzed. They freeze or put things off instead of taking action to reach their goals.
Paying more attention to your effort and less attention to the outcome can help us feel better about the accomplishments we have achieved. When we truly give ourselves credit for the things we have done well and focus more on our future self, that person who we want to be, it can propel us to move forward with action and behaviors needed to reach our goals. When our minds are not cluttered with self-doubt, we have more time and energy to implement things that will help us achieve our goals. Letting go of perfectionism and people-pleasing tendencies can free us from some of this excessive worry and self-doubt.
Dr. Benjamin Hardy is a psychologist who wrote the book "Be Your Future Self Now". In this book, the author discusses the fact that psychologists used to believe your life/career must be a direct result of your past. Modern day research now shows that although a person’s past can influence present behavior, it does not completely dictate a person’s actions and behaviors as much as we once believed. When we embrace the idea of our future self, we can begin to feel like we have more control over the quality of our choices. When we truly think about what we want to be different, our actions and behavior begin to align with the goals we want to achieve. Do that enough and remain consistent with those actions and behaviors and we eventually can become the person we want to be. These concepts can be applied to goals related to our own personal health, our career and our relationships. When we act and do things to help our future self-live with more intention, it can bring more fulfillment in our lives. Instead of focusing on what we are NOT, we begin to become who we WANT to BE.
It takes a lot of courage to step outside of our comfort zone. Our mindset about failure can make a huge difference in how we approach challenges. When we allow the fear of failure to get in the way of goals, we’re allowing our anxiety to win. That fear can cause us to freeze rather than take action toward achieving our goals. Avoiding challenges because we’re afraid of failing can cause us to feel regret and ultimately create more self-doubt.
Have you wondered what causes Imposter Syndrome? Subscribe to our blogs to read more about the causes. If you want to overcome Imposter Syndrome, learn to reduce perfectionism, decrease people pleasing behaviors and worry less, contact Best Life Therapy. These are all things clients can work on in therapy. Best Life Therapy has immediate openings for new clients. Check out our website to learn more. New clients can request their initial appointment on our website by clicking on the request an appointment button on the home page. Click the following link to schedule your initial appointment: https://bestlifetherapy.net. Want to learn more strategies to improve your mindset? Here is another quick read, our blog about fixed and growth mindset Growth Mindset . If you have questions, feel free to call us Monday - Friday from 9:00am to 5:00pm or ask questions using the contact form on our website. Remember, there is treatment for imposter syndrome, and we are here for you if you need help.
We Specialize in Anxiety, Depression, Grief and Trauma
At Best Life Therapy, we provide compassionate counseling to support your mental health journey. Our experienced therapists are here to help you navigate life's challenges and promote personal growth.
We hope you enjoy reading our blogs!
Sign up below to subscribe To our blogs. These are free And You Will Have Instant Access to Them.
You will have instant access as soon as they are published! We promise not to overload your inbox.
- Photo taken at Flushing County Park, Michigan