Best Life Therapy Blogs - Grief, Anxiety, Stress & More
- posted: May 02, 2025
What is Imposter Syndrome and How can you Combat it?
Blog Post Written by, Vicky Alvarez, Clinical Therapist and CEO of Best Life Therapy
Have you ever wondered what causes Imposter Syndrome? Do you worry that others think you're a fraud? Understanding some of the factors that contribute to excessive self-doubt can help. Sometimes with Imposter Syndrome, we also deal with perfectionism and people pleasing behaviors. Understanding some of the causes of Imposter Syndrome can help us better understand where it comes from. Once we know the causes, we might be able to identify some practical strategies to help us address it.
Sometimes it can be difficult to identify just one cause. There are many things that contribute to excessive worry and self-doubt. One of those causes could be our own tendency to worry. If you have a history of excessive worry about a variety of things and have trouble controlling that worry, you may be more likely to deal with thoughts about not being good enough. Anxiety is one of the most common reasons why people go to therapy. According to the National Institute on Mental Health (NIMH), an estimated 19.1% of adults in the United States had an anxiety disorder in the last year. Although Imposter Syndrome is not an official mental health diagnosis, its impact can impact our careers and wreak havoc on our lives. There are things you can do to learn to manage your anxiety. Practicing relaxation techniques, mindfulness and deep breathing can calm our nervous system. Once we are relaxed and feeling calm, it is easier to use cognitive techniques to address the anxiety. Asking yourself questions like, “how do I know that thought is true,” “what evidence do I have,” and “what would a friend tell me to do in this situation.” Taking time to explore our worries and reframing our unhelpful and irrational thoughts can help us put things in perspective.
Another cause of Imposter Syndrome is having been exposed to an environment where you’ve been impacted by gender biases, racism, ageism or any other type of discrimination. Microaggressions, stereotypes and biases can impact this as well. Being harshly judged and criticized by co-workers/supervisors/teachers/parents can cause self-doubt especially if we are already feeling insecure about ourselves. Some people are told they are lazy, stupid and never going to amount to much and they believe it. It is really important to address that kind of self-talk. What we focus on tends to grow and that can worsen over time.
So, how do we combat imposter syndrome and reduce the impact of those negative messages? Ultimately, we decide if we believe the things that have been said to us. It’s important to remember that one person’s opinion of you is just that, one person’s “opinion” of you. Their point of view is not fact. Being raised in a highly critical environment or having been picked on by peers as a child can cause us to be filled with self-doubt. On the flip side, growing up in an environment that is too protective or excessively controlling can cause people to worry more. In overprotective environments, people often begin to feel like they’re not capable of taking care of themselves or capable of making good decisions.
When people are filled with self-doubt and believe their approval and worth are based only on their accomplishments, they may begin to avoid taking risks. Unless they are certain they can do something perfectly, they don’t want to risk it. When we expect validation from others and instead receive constructive feedback, it can cause people to spiral, even when it is well intended feedback. Understanding that feedback is an important part of learning is important. We can all learn more and grow more. If we believe that we must be a failure because we made a mistake, depression and anxiety can quickly set in. People begin to feel like they don’t measure up to other’s expectations or their own. Our self-talk can cause us to feel like we are a failure. When the voices in our heads from our past are that loud, it is important to make the positive self-talk even louder. Frequent positive affirmations, noticing your wins every day and giving yourself credit for the things you’ve done successfully can help combat some of that negative self-talk.
There are many societal and cultural influences that shape the way we view ourselves. We are constantly exposed to success stories from others telling us all about their “get rich quick like me” schemes. The hidden message they’re sending is that what we are earning must not be enough. Workplace environments can be that way. Some people are told “you know, the other people that work here don’t like you.” It's like a popularity contest in some work environments. Don’t let others define who you are. Be kind to yourself. You can't make others accept you, but you can work on self-acceptance. You can learn to disregard those negative messages instead of letting them play on repeat in your head. Practice self-compassion. After all, you are the only you that you’ll ever have. Spend time talking with your support system, your friends, family or a trusted colleague. Remember you can do hard things. When you believe in your capabilities and remind yourself that what you’re doing is valuable, you’ll be more likely to tap into the skills and strengths you already have. Fear can cause us to focus on our weakness and cloud our ability to tap into those strengths. Trust in yourself and your abilities. Waiting for the fear to go away so we can achieve our hopes and our dreams is usually not the best strategy. Just breathe, take that first step and step outside of your comfort zone to reach those dreams and be who you want to be. Confidence often comes after you’ve taken that first step. The more we face those fears and do things that are scary but important to us, the more we bring purpose and meaning to our life.
People pleasing tendencies and Imposter Syndrome are often seen together. When people fear rejection, they will go above and beyond to make people happy, sometimes doing things they don’t want to do even if it is at their own expense. Saying yes when you really need to say no just to make others happy can give individuals a false sense of security in relationships. Sometimes people pleasing can be a trauma response. It can be a result of having been rejected and a way to try to keep people in your life. Thoughts like “maybe if I do all the things they want me to do, they won’t leave me, yell at me or hurt me.” When we experience trauma and have learned to walk on eggshells just to keep the peace, people learn that keeping others happy can result in a calmer home.
To address people pleasing behaviors, practice setting healthy boundaries. There are times when it is okay and necessary to say no. Practice expressing your true feelings. Sometimes your feelings will be well received by others and sometimes they will not. That is okay. Failing to address people pleasing behaviors can result in a person feeling overwhelmed from taking on too much. It can mean that we are often neglecting our own self- care. Sometimes, people begin to feel bad for prioritizing their own wants and needs. Phrases like “I don’t care, I’m fine with whatever you want” come easily to people who have this idea that they need to please others to be liked. It is okay to care and okay to have an opinion, even if it is different than someone else’s thoughts and opinions. People can learn to respect one another’s opinions but for that to happen, people pleasers need to practice sharing their thoughts and feelings.
When we examine some of the causes of Imposter Syndrome, it’s evident that our history can sometimes play a role. To what extent our history impacts us depends on a lot of factors, one of which is our own capacity to be resilient or to bounce back. Some people use their strong-willed nature to protect themselves from the judgement of others. They understand that other people’s opinion of them does not make or break who they are. Many people think that we either have the strength and confidence needed to successfully navigate challenges or we don’t. Resiliency is about being able to adapt. It involves behaviors, thoughts and actions that most people can learn. There are many ways to combat imposter syndrome but sometimes we need support with this. Therapy can help you learn how to combat fears about how others view you. Learning to identify the causes of your perfectionism and people pleasing behaviors can be addressed in therapy. Having a support person to assist with these things can improve a person’s capacity to bounce back. At Best Life Therapy, we have many therapists with openings to support you with whatever issues you may be struggling.
- posted: May 02, 2025
What is Imposter Syndrome and How can you Combat it?
Blog Post Written by, Vicky Alvarez, Clinical Therapist and CEO of Best Life Therapy
Have you ever wondered what causes Imposter Syndrome? Do you worry that others think you're a fraud? Understanding some of the factors that contribute to excessive self-doubt can help. Sometimes with Imposter Syndrome, we also deal with perfectionism and people pleasing behaviors. Understanding some of the causes of Imposter Syndrome can help us better understand where it comes from. Once we know the causes, we might be able to identify some practical strategies to help us address it.
Sometimes it can be difficult to identify just one cause. There are many things that contribute to excessive worry and self-doubt. One of those causes could be our own tendency to worry. If you have a history of excessive worry about a variety of things and have trouble controlling that worry, you may be more likely to deal with thoughts about not being good enough. Anxiety is one of the most common reasons why people go to therapy. According to the National Institute on Mental Health (NIMH), an estimated 19.1% of adults in the United States had an anxiety disorder in the last year. Although Imposter Syndrome is not an official mental health diagnosis, its impact can impact our careers and wreak havoc on our lives. There are things you can do to learn to manage your anxiety. Practicing relaxation techniques, mindfulness and deep breathing can calm our nervous system. Once we are relaxed and feeling calm, it is easier to use cognitive techniques to address the anxiety. Asking yourself questions like, “how do I know that thought is true,” “what evidence do I have,” and “what would a friend tell me to do in this situation.” Taking time to explore our worries and reframing our unhelpful and irrational thoughts can help us put things in perspective.
Another cause of Imposter Syndrome is having been exposed to an environment where you’ve been impacted by gender biases, racism, ageism or any other type of discrimination. Microaggressions, stereotypes and biases can impact this as well. Being harshly judged and criticized by co-workers/supervisors/teachers/parents can cause self-doubt especially if we are already feeling insecure about ourselves. Some people are told they are lazy, stupid and never going to amount to much and they believe it. It is really important to address that kind of self-talk. What we focus on tends to grow and that can worsen over time.
So, how do we combat imposter syndrome and reduce the impact of those negative messages? Ultimately, we decide if we believe the things that have been said to us. It’s important to remember that one person’s opinion of you is just that, one person’s “opinion” of you. Their point of view is not fact. Being raised in a highly critical environment or having been picked on by peers as a child can cause us to be filled with self-doubt. On the flip side, growing up in an environment that is too protective or excessively controlling can cause people to worry more. In overprotective environments, people often begin to feel like they’re not capable of taking care of themselves or capable of making good decisions.
When people are filled with self-doubt and believe their approval and worth are based only on their accomplishments, they may begin to avoid taking risks. Unless they are certain they can do something perfectly, they don’t want to risk it. When we expect validation from others and instead receive constructive feedback, it can cause people to spiral, even when it is well intended feedback. Understanding that feedback is an important part of learning is important. We can all learn more and grow more. If we believe that we must be a failure because we made a mistake, depression and anxiety can quickly set in. People begin to feel like they don’t measure up to other’s expectations or their own. Our self-talk can cause us to feel like we are a failure. When the voices in our heads from our past are that loud, it is important to make the positive self-talk even louder. Frequent positive affirmations, noticing your wins every day and giving yourself credit for the things you’ve done successfully can help combat some of that negative self-talk.
There are many societal and cultural influences that shape the way we view ourselves. We are constantly exposed to success stories from others telling us all about their “get rich quick like me” schemes. The hidden message they’re sending is that what we are earning must not be enough. Workplace environments can be that way. Some people are told “you know, the other people that work here don’t like you.” It's like a popularity contest in some work environments. Don’t let others define who you are. Be kind to yourself. You can't make others accept you, but you can work on self-acceptance. You can learn to disregard those negative messages instead of letting them play on repeat in your head. Practice self-compassion. After all, you are the only you that you’ll ever have. Spend time talking with your support system, your friends, family or a trusted colleague. Remember you can do hard things. When you believe in your capabilities and remind yourself that what you’re doing is valuable, you’ll be more likely to tap into the skills and strengths you already have. Fear can cause us to focus on our weakness and cloud our ability to tap into those strengths. Trust in yourself and your abilities. Waiting for the fear to go away so we can achieve our hopes and our dreams is usually not the best strategy. Just breathe, take that first step and step outside of your comfort zone to reach those dreams and be who you want to be. Confidence often comes after you’ve taken that first step. The more we face those fears and do things that are scary but important to us, the more we bring purpose and meaning to our life.
People pleasing tendencies and Imposter Syndrome are often seen together. When people fear rejection, they will go above and beyond to make people happy, sometimes doing things they don’t want to do even if it is at their own expense. Saying yes when you really need to say no just to make others happy can give individuals a false sense of security in relationships. Sometimes people pleasing can be a trauma response. It can be a result of having been rejected and a way to try to keep people in your life. Thoughts like “maybe if I do all the things they want me to do, they won’t leave me, yell at me or hurt me.” When we experience trauma and have learned to walk on eggshells just to keep the peace, people learn that keeping others happy can result in a calmer home.
To address people pleasing behaviors, practice setting healthy boundaries. There are times when it is okay and necessary to say no. Practice expressing your true feelings. Sometimes your feelings will be well received by others and sometimes they will not. That is okay. Failing to address people pleasing behaviors can result in a person feeling overwhelmed from taking on too much. It can mean that we are often neglecting our own self- care. Sometimes, people begin to feel bad for prioritizing their own wants and needs. Phrases like “I don’t care, I’m fine with whatever you want” come easily to people who have this idea that they need to please others to be liked. It is okay to care and okay to have an opinion, even if it is different than someone else’s thoughts and opinions. People can learn to respect one another’s opinions but for that to happen, people pleasers need to practice sharing their thoughts and feelings.
When we examine some of the causes of Imposter Syndrome, it’s evident that our history can sometimes play a role. To what extent our history impacts us depends on a lot of factors, one of which is our own capacity to be resilient or to bounce back. Some people use their strong-willed nature to protect themselves from the judgement of others. They understand that other people’s opinion of them does not make or break who they are. Many people think that we either have the strength and confidence needed to successfully navigate challenges or we don’t. Resiliency is about being able to adapt. It involves behaviors, thoughts and actions that most people can learn. There are many ways to combat imposter syndrome but sometimes we need support with this. Therapy can help you learn how to combat fears about how others view you. Learning to identify the causes of your perfectionism and people pleasing behaviors can be addressed in therapy. Having a support person to assist with these things can improve a person’s capacity to bounce back. At Best Life Therapy, we have many therapists with openings to support you with whatever issues you may be struggling.
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- Photo taken at Flushing County Park, Michigan