Best Life Therapy Blogs - Grief, Anxiety, Stress & More
- posted: May 11, 2025
Written by, Vicky Alvarez, LMSW, CCTP, CAGCS, Clinical Therapist and CEO of Best Life Therapy
Have you been feeling "off" or find yourself low on energy and tearing up more than usual? Mother’s Day weekend can be incredibly difficult for many people. There are many reasons why it can be a trigger for so many people. For some, it’s difficult because it’s a reminder that their mother has died. Watching everyone else celebrate a day that will be forever changed in your life is painful. For others, they are faced with slowly watching their mother die because of a disease that has robbed her of those final years. The helplessness one feels watching a parent die from an illness that has no cure is incredibly difficult. This anticipatory grief can go on for a very long time. People find themselves holding back tears as they walk down the card aisle, seeing all the flowers and balloons. Some wonder if it will be the last year with their mother. Some buy flowers to plant, others buy them to take to the cemetery. It’s important to know you are not alone in your pain and heartbreak this weekend. The way we experience the holiday is unique to all of us. Our current or our past relationship with our mother is also unique to us so the way in which we grieve will be as well.
Sometimes people grieve for a parent who is still alive but not showing up in their life in the way that they need. We have so many people who are being raised by grandparents or other relatives. This can be a difficult weekend for those individuals as well. Being raised with no support from a biological mother can be difficult. Sometimes people decide to establish healthy boundaries and cut ties with their mother. This type of grief can be painful for both the mother and the child. This is just one example of disenfranchised grief which is a type of loss that is typically not recognized by society. People grieve the relationship they had hoped to have with their children. Mother’s Day is hard for those who’ve lost a mom to death and hard for those who have lost a child to death regardless of the child’s age. Miscarriages and infertility are also forms of disenfranchised grief. Sometimes we become connected to the idea of having a certain number of children. When that doesn’t happen, we grieve for the future we had planned for and hoped to have.
For some, Mothers’ Day school events are a trigger. These events are hosted in a way that is meant to be supportive and typically we will see/hear a statement about bringing another person if the child does not have a mother to bring. In theory this sounds like it would make the day easier. In reality, additional grief support may be needed for children on those days. This holiday is a reminder that they won’t ever be able to have a relationship with the person who brought them into this world. There are a lot of things in society that impact grief. Strangers often make assumptions and tell all women to have a Happy Mother's Day. These comments are well intentioned, but they can cause heartbreak. Some of us have said “Happy Mother’s Day” to people who have no children without knowing if they have tried and if infertility was an issue for them...without knowing if they are grieving. Being kind to others and sensitive to these types of things can help.
If you’re feeling sadness this weekend because of a loss below is a list of coping strategies that may help.
4 Strategies to Cope This Mother’s Day Weekend:
- Give yourself permission to opt out. You don’t have to celebrate a day that is difficult for you. If you have your own children who want to spend time with you, it is a good idea to do that. Just be sure to take time to honor your own grief. Focusing on the blessings we have in our life can help ease some of the heartbreak.
- Consider a grief ritual to honor your mother’s memory. Write her a letter, light a candle, do something that reminds you of her, do the things she used to love to do or go to the places she used to enjoy going. Look back at photos of her during happier times. Add a memorial area in your yard so you can feel close to your mother.
- Somatic interventions can help calm our nervous system. Use relaxation strategies such as box breathing - inhale for 4, hold for 4 and repeat, stay grounded using your 5 senses, being in nature and focusing on what you see and hear can help or splash cold water on your face
- Give yourself permission to grieve. Use kindness, self-compassion and avoid judgement. The world tends to act like we should quickly process our grief and get over it. It does not work that way. Making space for the loss is necessary, being patient with yourself and allowing yourself to flow in and out of grief as you need to can promote healing. Avoid statements like “I should be over this by now.” We tend to deny our grief. We may notice it but move on so others don’t feel uncomfortable. We can find comfort in grief when we simply acknowledge it.
Grief is a way in which we stay connected to our loved ones. Knowing the love is still alive within us can be painful but it’s also a reminder of how incredibly powerful love can be. Grief is not a problem that needs to be solved and it’s not a feeling that needs to go away. If you find yourself thinking that you “had a setback” because you cried and missed your loved one, remind yourself that there is no timeline. Grief is an expression of love. When asked how long grief should last, David Kessler, grief expert, author and parent who lost his son to death, rhetorically reminds us that “grief can last as long as the person is going to be dead.” Some people seek out therapy soon after the death of a loved one. Other people find that they are not ready until several years after a loss. It's okay to seek help when/if you need it. It's not uncommon for people to wait to seek therapy because the pain is so intense they worry if they open up they could be flooded with emotions.
If you need support, reach out. Our therapists at Best Life Therapy understand grief and trauma. They are trained to ensure that you feel safe and supported while working on grief. New clients can schedule on our website any time of the day or night or call to schedule an appointment during our normal business hours. If we don't have an appointment time that works for you consider using the contact form to complete your request. We will do our best to help you. Best Life Therapy is also in the process of starting a grief group for current and new clients. If interested, mention that to your therapist during your initial appointment and we will notify you when we have enough participants. To learn more about the therapists at Best Life Therapy, visit us online at https://bestlifetherapy.net or call 810-771-3457.
- posted: May 11, 2025
Written by, Vicky Alvarez, LMSW, CCTP, CAGCS, Clinical Therapist and CEO of Best Life Therapy
Have you been feeling "off" or find yourself low on energy and tearing up more than usual? Mother’s Day weekend can be incredibly difficult for many people. There are many reasons why it can be a trigger for so many people. For some, it’s difficult because it’s a reminder that their mother has died. Watching everyone else celebrate a day that will be forever changed in your life is painful. For others, they are faced with slowly watching their mother die because of a disease that has robbed her of those final years. The helplessness one feels watching a parent die from an illness that has no cure is incredibly difficult. This anticipatory grief can go on for a very long time. People find themselves holding back tears as they walk down the card aisle, seeing all the flowers and balloons. Some wonder if it will be the last year with their mother. Some buy flowers to plant, others buy them to take to the cemetery. It’s important to know you are not alone in your pain and heartbreak this weekend. The way we experience the holiday is unique to all of us. Our current or our past relationship with our mother is also unique to us so the way in which we grieve will be as well.
Sometimes people grieve for a parent who is still alive but not showing up in their life in the way that they need. We have so many people who are being raised by grandparents or other relatives. This can be a difficult weekend for those individuals as well. Being raised with no support from a biological mother can be difficult. Sometimes people decide to establish healthy boundaries and cut ties with their mother. This type of grief can be painful for both the mother and the child. This is just one example of disenfranchised grief which is a type of loss that is typically not recognized by society. People grieve the relationship they had hoped to have with their children. Mother’s Day is hard for those who’ve lost a mom to death and hard for those who have lost a child to death regardless of the child’s age. Miscarriages and infertility are also forms of disenfranchised grief. Sometimes we become connected to the idea of having a certain number of children. When that doesn’t happen, we grieve for the future we had planned for and hoped to have.
For some, Mothers’ Day school events are a trigger. These events are hosted in a way that is meant to be supportive and typically we will see/hear a statement about bringing another person if the child does not have a mother to bring. In theory this sounds like it would make the day easier. In reality, additional grief support may be needed for children on those days. This holiday is a reminder that they won’t ever be able to have a relationship with the person who brought them into this world. There are a lot of things in society that impact grief. Strangers often make assumptions and tell all women to have a Happy Mother's Day. These comments are well intentioned, but they can cause heartbreak. Some of us have said “Happy Mother’s Day” to people who have no children without knowing if they have tried and if infertility was an issue for them...without knowing if they are grieving. Being kind to others and sensitive to these types of things can help.
If you’re feeling sadness this weekend because of a loss below is a list of coping strategies that may help.
4 Strategies to Cope This Mother’s Day Weekend:
- Give yourself permission to opt out. You don’t have to celebrate a day that is difficult for you. If you have your own children who want to spend time with you, it is a good idea to do that. Just be sure to take time to honor your own grief. Focusing on the blessings we have in our life can help ease some of the heartbreak.
- Consider a grief ritual to honor your mother’s memory. Write her a letter, light a candle, do something that reminds you of her, do the things she used to love to do or go to the places she used to enjoy going. Look back at photos of her during happier times. Add a memorial area in your yard so you can feel close to your mother.
- Somatic interventions can help calm our nervous system. Use relaxation strategies such as box breathing - inhale for 4, hold for 4 and repeat, stay grounded using your 5 senses, being in nature and focusing on what you see and hear can help or splash cold water on your face
- Give yourself permission to grieve. Use kindness, self-compassion and avoid judgement. The world tends to act like we should quickly process our grief and get over it. It does not work that way. Making space for the loss is necessary, being patient with yourself and allowing yourself to flow in and out of grief as you need to can promote healing. Avoid statements like “I should be over this by now.” We tend to deny our grief. We may notice it but move on so others don’t feel uncomfortable. We can find comfort in grief when we simply acknowledge it.
Grief is a way in which we stay connected to our loved ones. Knowing the love is still alive within us can be painful but it’s also a reminder of how incredibly powerful love can be. Grief is not a problem that needs to be solved and it’s not a feeling that needs to go away. If you find yourself thinking that you “had a setback” because you cried and missed your loved one, remind yourself that there is no timeline. Grief is an expression of love. When asked how long grief should last, David Kessler, grief expert, author and parent who lost his son to death, rhetorically reminds us that “grief can last as long as the person is going to be dead.” Some people seek out therapy soon after the death of a loved one. Other people find that they are not ready until several years after a loss. It's okay to seek help when/if you need it. It's not uncommon for people to wait to seek therapy because the pain is so intense they worry if they open up they could be flooded with emotions.
If you need support, reach out. Our therapists at Best Life Therapy understand grief and trauma. They are trained to ensure that you feel safe and supported while working on grief. New clients can schedule on our website any time of the day or night or call to schedule an appointment during our normal business hours. If we don't have an appointment time that works for you consider using the contact form to complete your request. We will do our best to help you. Best Life Therapy is also in the process of starting a grief group for current and new clients. If interested, mention that to your therapist during your initial appointment and we will notify you when we have enough participants. To learn more about the therapists at Best Life Therapy, visit us online at https://bestlifetherapy.net or call 810-771-3457.
We Specialize in Anxiety, Depression, Grief and Trauma
At Best Life Therapy, we provide compassionate counseling to support your mental health journey. Our experienced therapists are here to help you navigate life's challenges and promote personal growth.
We hope you enjoy reading our blogs!
Sign up below to subscribe To our blogs. These are free And You Will Have Instant Access to Them.
You will have instant access as soon as they are published! We promise not to overload your inbox.
- Photo taken at Flushing County Park, Michigan