Best Life Therapy Blogs - Grief, Anxiety, Stress & More
- posted: Nov. 05, 2025
Written by Vicky Alvarez, Clinical Therapist and CEO of Best Life Therapy
The holidays can be so hard when you're grieving. Christmas decorations everywhere, jolly songs playing on the radio, the memories come flooding back of all the holidays you spent with your loved one who is no longer here.
While the world wraps itself in sparkle, lights, and celebration, you might feel like you're unraveling. The gatherings, the traditions, the gifts—they all seem to echo what’s missing. And no matter how much time has passed, that absence still hurts.
Grief doesn’t follow a calendar. It doesn’t care if it’s Thanksgiving or New Year’s Eve. It shows up uninvited sometimes when you least expect it. It can be 10 years after the death and then there is that trigger, some reminder, and it feels like it happened yesterday.. Grief is often louder during the quiet moments. If you’re feeling that ache right now, you’re not alone. This time of year is defined by joy and festivities. It is hard to feel joyful when our brain continues to search for someone who isn’t there and isn’t coming back.
We Don’t “Get Over” It—We Learn to Carry It
Some of my favorite grief experts have said it so well. Megan Devine says: “Grief is love in its most wild form.” Her books describe grief as being something that we learn to carry. She teaches us in her grief journal how to carry something that feels so heavy, something that can’t possibly be fixed. David Kessler reminds us that we don’t move on from someone we love—we move forward with them in our heart. We build the capacity to hold our grief by making space for other things: connection, creativity, even joy. It is okay to get back to feeling joy. I personally believe that our loved ones would want that for us. It doesn’t mean that we’re ready to “get over it.” We don’t get over it. It changes us, and we will never be the same. We don’t want to forget them, but we know that life keeps going, and somehow, so do we. It can be painful to see how others get back to living when we feel so incredibly stuck. Sometimes we need support before we can “get back to living.”
Coping Through the Hard Days
There’s no right way to grieve during the holidays. But here are a few gentle ways to support yourself:
- Let go of “shoulds.” You don’t have to decorate. You don’t have to attend the party. You don’t have to be cheerful. Permit yourself to opt out. Last year, on November 26th my best friend, who happened to be a furry cockapoo named Mollie died. It was very sudden and unexpected. There was no Christmas tree in my living room. Getting back to living took time. It is that way with humans and it can be that way with our pets.
- Create space for your person. Light a candle. Hang an ornament in their honor. Write them a letter. Let them be part of your season in whatever way feels right. If we allow them to continue on in our thoughts, in our conversations, it can help us feel more connected to them.
- Find your anchors. Whether it’s a walk in the cold air, a warm blanket, a favorite song, or a quiet moment with someone who gets it—find what steadies you. Sometimes it is music that resonates with us. Music therapy can be wonderful!
- Speak your truth. If someone asks how you’re doing, you can say, “I’m carrying a lot right now.” You don’t owe anyone a performance. You also decide who you tell and how much you share. For some people, they simply will get the “I’m doing okay,” and others who really want to know will listen, and they will be there for you even when you speak about the uncomfortable topic of death.
- Make meaning, not magic. The holidays don’t have to be perfect. They can be real. That’s enough. If you don’t feel like doing them the same way that you always have, that is okay. Different does not have to be bad.
Living While Grieving
Many of us don’t want to continue living when our hearts are broken. We want our loved one back. Eventually, we do get back to living. Death teaches us how fragile life is. Love demands that we make each day count, even when it hurts. You can laugh and still miss them. You can celebrate and still mourn. You can live and still carry your grief. This isn’t betrayal. It’s survival. It’s resilience. It’s love, still showing up.
If You’re Grieving This Season…
You’re not broken. You’re not doing it wrong. You’re human. And your grief is a reflection of your love. So be gentle with yourself. Make space for what hurts while also making space for what heals. People might want to "fix you" but you need to grieve. Masking it for others isn't always helpful. Sometimes we need a place where we can openly grieve, where we don't feel the need to shield people from our pain, to protect them so they don't feel uncomfortable. Sometimes we need a safe space that is just for us to grieve. This might mean therapy. Maybe it means joining a grief group and healing in community. Whatever you need, take care of you. Be kind to yourself. Grief is hard work. Know that even in the darkest moments, you are not alone. If you need help call us at 810-771-3457 or schedule your initial appointment on our website, https://bestlifetherapy.net.
- posted: Nov. 05, 2025
Written by Vicky Alvarez, Clinical Therapist and CEO of Best Life Therapy
The holidays can be so hard when you're grieving. Christmas decorations everywhere, jolly songs playing on the radio, the memories come flooding back of all the holidays you spent with your loved one who is no longer here.
While the world wraps itself in sparkle, lights, and celebration, you might feel like you're unraveling. The gatherings, the traditions, the gifts—they all seem to echo what’s missing. And no matter how much time has passed, that absence still hurts.
Grief doesn’t follow a calendar. It doesn’t care if it’s Thanksgiving or New Year’s Eve. It shows up uninvited sometimes when you least expect it. It can be 10 years after the death and then there is that trigger, some reminder, and it feels like it happened yesterday.. Grief is often louder during the quiet moments. If you’re feeling that ache right now, you’re not alone. This time of year is defined by joy and festivities. It is hard to feel joyful when our brain continues to search for someone who isn’t there and isn’t coming back.
We Don’t “Get Over” It—We Learn to Carry It
Some of my favorite grief experts have said it so well. Megan Devine says: “Grief is love in its most wild form.” Her books describe grief as being something that we learn to carry. She teaches us in her grief journal how to carry something that feels so heavy, something that can’t possibly be fixed. David Kessler reminds us that we don’t move on from someone we love—we move forward with them in our heart. We build the capacity to hold our grief by making space for other things: connection, creativity, even joy. It is okay to get back to feeling joy. I personally believe that our loved ones would want that for us. It doesn’t mean that we’re ready to “get over it.” We don’t get over it. It changes us, and we will never be the same. We don’t want to forget them, but we know that life keeps going, and somehow, so do we. It can be painful to see how others get back to living when we feel so incredibly stuck. Sometimes we need support before we can “get back to living.”
Coping Through the Hard Days
There’s no right way to grieve during the holidays. But here are a few gentle ways to support yourself:
- Let go of “shoulds.” You don’t have to decorate. You don’t have to attend the party. You don’t have to be cheerful. Permit yourself to opt out. Last year, on November 26th my best friend, who happened to be a furry cockapoo named Mollie died. It was very sudden and unexpected. There was no Christmas tree in my living room. Getting back to living took time. It is that way with humans and it can be that way with our pets.
- Create space for your person. Light a candle. Hang an ornament in their honor. Write them a letter. Let them be part of your season in whatever way feels right. If we allow them to continue on in our thoughts, in our conversations, it can help us feel more connected to them.
- Find your anchors. Whether it’s a walk in the cold air, a warm blanket, a favorite song, or a quiet moment with someone who gets it—find what steadies you. Sometimes it is music that resonates with us. Music therapy can be wonderful!
- Speak your truth. If someone asks how you’re doing, you can say, “I’m carrying a lot right now.” You don’t owe anyone a performance. You also decide who you tell and how much you share. For some people, they simply will get the “I’m doing okay,” and others who really want to know will listen, and they will be there for you even when you speak about the uncomfortable topic of death.
- Make meaning, not magic. The holidays don’t have to be perfect. They can be real. That’s enough. If you don’t feel like doing them the same way that you always have, that is okay. Different does not have to be bad.
Living While Grieving
Many of us don’t want to continue living when our hearts are broken. We want our loved one back. Eventually, we do get back to living. Death teaches us how fragile life is. Love demands that we make each day count, even when it hurts. You can laugh and still miss them. You can celebrate and still mourn. You can live and still carry your grief. This isn’t betrayal. It’s survival. It’s resilience. It’s love, still showing up.
If You’re Grieving This Season…
You’re not broken. You’re not doing it wrong. You’re human. And your grief is a reflection of your love. So be gentle with yourself. Make space for what hurts while also making space for what heals. People might want to "fix you" but you need to grieve. Masking it for others isn't always helpful. Sometimes we need a place where we can openly grieve, where we don't feel the need to shield people from our pain, to protect them so they don't feel uncomfortable. Sometimes we need a safe space that is just for us to grieve. This might mean therapy. Maybe it means joining a grief group and healing in community. Whatever you need, take care of you. Be kind to yourself. Grief is hard work. Know that even in the darkest moments, you are not alone. If you need help call us at 810-771-3457 or schedule your initial appointment on our website, https://bestlifetherapy.net.
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- Photo taken at Flushing County Park, Michigan